Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize