I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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