Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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