Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
