i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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