I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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