If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
