Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
