I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
