the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
