naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
