I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
