Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
