i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
When are your genitals available?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
