I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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