is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
