You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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