the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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