Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
being pregnant is like rehab
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
