Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
