babies were throwing up all over the place
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize