I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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