I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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