Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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