Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
