It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
