i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
