At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
