I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
