There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
