I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize