Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
