I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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