I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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