how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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