she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
