I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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