4 words: hood of his car
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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