Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize