Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
