I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
