K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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