Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
