he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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