He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
