Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
