Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
