the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
