What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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