Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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