i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
