glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize