I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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