I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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