Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize