Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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