SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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