i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize