Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
