Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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