how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
